Stressed and Depressed

It's not enough that this is the end of the semester and, possibly, the end of my formal academic career; that I'm flying down to Florida next Wednesday for graduation and visitation; that I have no money; that I'll be financially responsible for two other people this summer and have, to date, no money or realistic job prospects to pay for this, and that I was turned down for the position I was vying for here at the Partnership. But I'm PMSing like a crazy bitch, too.

I sat out work yesterday and watched t.v. and smoked pot all day instead. Everytime I think about not returning to work next week, a lump forms in my throat and my eyes threaten tears. I'm not hiding it very well, either. Everyone can tell, and has made concerned comments about it. I just lie to them or stand there wishing I could break down while chained by my self-respect. I feel pathetic and powerless.

This is no way to get a job and/or turn out a stellar academic performance before grades are due next week.